Dear Diary

I am wildly and aggressively mad

ravenous and foaming at the lips

with this love that has sent my spine spiraling

through ice and salt like this

this love that has made me so hungry

so thirsty, I can never get enough

love that floats through my dreams and

carries me into the morning with sleep in my eyes

and the thought of you in my brain

love that never tires me of writing fond poetry

tender prose, passionate thoughts

When my mind feels lost

it runs towards you

all of the memories from April onward.

I lay in bed, on quilt, stare at tile

count down minutes until I get to see you once more

listen to piano ballads in F minor to soothe my veins

to soothe my heart

to soothe my lips

I miss you to the moon and all that is beyond that, my dear.

I miss your hands that magically cure any ache

any sorrow, any worry.

I miss how your hair feels in my hands

eyes shut, breathing soft

so safe.

I miss your mischievous grin

your warmth

the way you whisper I love you

your eyes after a shower

how our knuckles will never know each other

in the ways our mouths do.

There is no equivalent joy

no happiness

that equates to my desire for you.

So often, I am at a loss for words

How do I express how far down the well I’ve fallen

express how each night in bed, I leave room for you, just in case

how sometimes I pray that the distance gets smaller

close in thought and heart constantly

counting down the minutes until I see you once more

I miss you to the moon, and all that is beyond that, my dear.

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