Every college kid dreads the hell that is finals week. So many projects, so many study guides, so little sleep. Procrastination catches up to us, and it’s right in the middle of flu season. Happy studying!
I am so lucky that I get sick by stress alone. I get more and more ill as the semester grows thinner. Everything irks me. I’m also on my period. It’s cold, I can’t breathe, my room is a sauna, and my roommate is a careless jerk.
I’m in three film classes and I can’t keep my production teams straight. My eyes are burning. My nose is dripping. I miss the sun, and I cannot wait until I’m home.
I envy the ones who have no finals and start their journey back home five days before I can even think about packing. I envy people who can sleep at night. I envy anyone who is not a perfectionist and can write a decent script without thought.
The dark circles under my eyes have never looked so muddy and my brain has never felt quite as static. I am electric, and exhausted, and ready for more coffee. One cream, one sugar.
I have disciplined myself against emotional eating. I don’t rely on wine or liquor to soothe my stresses. I don’t sleep if there’s work. I deprive myself of everything great until I deem myself worthy. I rarely please myself. Self-satisfaction is uncommon in my bones.
Maybe it’s the weather, or the panic of a year coming to a close. I don’t need oxygen, let me drown in ink-stained papers and chapters I forgot to read.
Merry finals week! Only six weeks until we cross the threshold of overloaded hours and dining hall plastic again.