What I’m Learning

Sometimes life just hands you lemons but there’s no sugar in sight.  And, instead of kindly handing them over, life is actually throwing the lemons. Hard. And it hurts. And everything sucks. Why is life so mean?!

While getting pelted with citrus, I search hard for any positive answer that I can retrieve.  I don’t want to go sour. I don’t want the negativity and hurt to harden me like a stone. I want my warmth and sunshine to continue to radiate. I want the world to keep turning and moving and pushing me into my right shoes.

I’m learning that people are strange. We know what we want but we don’t know what we want. We are always uncertain and curious. The what ifs overwhelm comfortable homes and tear up the foundation brick by brick.

I’m learning that love is hard and love is soft. It contradicts everything we get taught. It makes the smartest people feel stupid. Love grabs your backbone and throws you against the wall. Whether you get kissed or bruised depends entirely on some weird secret that love holds.

I wish it was all ripe peaches and warm sun and fast heartbeats. But life isn’t. Life is broken glass and wet kisses and wildflowers with bees and sleepless nights and mediocre martinis and chapped lips and running through the rain and long car drives and Wednesdays and misquito bites that itch too much and hot air balloon rides and funerals and proposals and determined bones.

Life overflowing with every thing and every emotion and every wish I could ever think of. With opportunity and positivity comes tragedy, and it is just not avoidable.  I’m a sentimental animal, and I’m learning.

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